Top Ten things you'll never hear on the USS Enterprise: 10) "No, please, Mr. Data, do go on. I find your list of synonyms for 'extinct' fascinating..." 9) "Good work, Counselor. If you hadn't told us those aliens had hostile intent, we would have been completely fooled by their plan" 8) "Jean-Luc, since the ship is in no danger at all, and we're not about to die, there's something I want to tell you... 7) "The... doohicky... has gone all... funny, making that gizmo light up... the one that means the warp engines are... ya know... all messed up." 6) "Captain's Log, Stardate... damn. What's the date? Number One, what's today? No, I know it's Tuesday, what's the date? The STARdate!!" 5) "Tea, Lemon Zinger, iced." 4) "Klingons do NOT wear frilly underwear... at least not on duty." 3) "Prime Directive? We don't need no steenkin' Prime Directive!" 2) "The aliens are locking their weapons on us... firing... a miss. Shall I open hailing frequencies so you can laugh in their faces?" And the number one thing you will never hear on the USS Enterprise: 1) "Ah, what the heck. I'm bored. Screw the hailing frequencies, fire at will." ========================================================== The above was really funny... I appreciated it. Thanks, whoever posted it.-DMF you're welcome! -Ù .5) "Counsellor Troi, have you put on a little weight?" .4) ÒNo counsellor we didnt expect you to feel anything this episode.Ó .3) ÒI say we talk to them first before we shoot.ÓÑLt. Worf .2) ÒI donÕt think I should be here...I mean IÕm only five.ÓÑWesley Crusher .1) ÒIÕm not only the president, IÕm also a client.ÓÑCaptain Picard .09) ÒNo I have standards and taste in women.ÓÑRiker .08) ÒNo I have standards and taste in hats.ÓÑGuinan .07) ÒNo I donÕt have emotion but Tasha Yar was a good lay.ÓÑData .06) ÒI want to have a big family.ÓÑPicard .05) ÒI just want to be friends.ÓÑLwaxana Troi .04) ÒI just want to be friends.ÓÑany Ferengi .03) "To hell with opening channels! Fire!" -Picard, posessed by the spirit of one James T. Kirk! .02) ÒI don't understand how to use this alien technology.Ó -Wesley Crusher .01) "Hey! Let's outbeard Riker!" .009) Anyone at Geordie - "Hey! One-Eye!" .008 "Where's Number 1?" "He's making Number 2!!!"